I first became a mother through the foster care system. I was a 25 year-old, single teacher, who desperately wanted to be a mom. My little two year-old twins (one boy, one girl) taught me so much about patience and perseverance. I saw how teachers were unable to handle the way they interacted with each other and moved them into separate classrooms in preschool. It worked though! Each of them were able to thrive this way! I love those little ones. The nine months they spent with me taught me so much more than I could have ever taught them.
My next child was also a foster child. He was in first grade. He hated school already. He hated reading. I had no clue where to even begin with him. His teacher worked hard. I worked hard. It seemed like we were fighting a losing battle. How could he not like school at the age of 7? What happens so early that the love for learning is already damaged? I hope that those 5 months left a little better love for learning with that young man.
Next came a marriage and then Gabe. Gabe is my only biological child. He is about to turn 10. He has always loved learning, growing up with a math teacher mom. He has been doing well with grades, but 4th grade has not been his favorite. He is beginning to get bored in school, as the teacher makes adjustments to help those who are further behind. (Many of my posts will be about Gabe.) The marriage didn't work, but Gabe is one amazing outcome from it!
Finally, there's Jason. He is now 20 years old. Jason was a student in my class his sophomore year of high school. He was in foster care. Faced with no more homes available for a 16 year-old with a juvenile record, Jason was looking at going to live in a boys' home. I knew the outcome that was most likely for him if he went that route. Dating at the time, I asked my now-husband about this young man. He told me to go for it. From that point on, Jason became my foster son, and now is my adopted son. Oh, the lessons about education that I have learned from this young man amaze me! (You will hear much about them; I am sure.)
I hope that my experiences in the classroom and as a mother to these 5 children will connect with you on some level. I hope that, as I share about my thoughts and my experiences, you will also feel the love, the joy, the pain, the tears, the anger that I feel (and felt) in these situations. My reasoning for these posts is not to complain, but to look for ways to help others in the same situation.
So, come with me. Let's take a journey into education through the eyes of a parent. Because, you know that kid sitting in front of you in the classroom, he's someone's child!
Hello, Stacy.
ReplyDeleteIt's with admiration I read through your post. I've always loved working with children as a teacher but have never been a parent. As a single male, I never saw fostering as being available although there are two children I care for at times when their mother has to be away on courses. In caring for children outside of school, the experiences are different and most certainly can influence our teaching approach.
I'll join your journey so I can perhaps drop in at times to see where it leads. :)
@RossMannell
Teacher, NSW, Australia
Ross,
ReplyDeleteGlad to have you along for the journey. I don't know about the rules for fostering in Australia, but single parent fostering is acceptable in the United States. I was hesitant at first, but was encouraged to apply. The thinking was that one good parent was better than two bad parents or no parent at all. I knew that I had a lot of love to give, that there must be a child (or children) out there that could benefit from it. I have always seen foster parenting as a mission field. My husband and I are not currently fostering, as adopting a teenager has been quite a game changer. We do hope to foster more children in the future. If you decide to foster, I am sure that the children will be blessed.